being alive

sometimes i think back to periods of my life when i felt alive. times when conversations had depth, things were done with a sense of direction and meaning, and i lived life on purpose. most notably, there was the absence of fear. each day was lived fully because i wasn't worried...about tomorrow, being good enough, saying the right things. and i guess i've slowly realized that that state of being was lived out because i was in love with Jesus. maybe that's what He means when He says things like faith like a child, and having an easy yoke. all He wants us to do is love Him.

but personal experience also tells me we don't continually live life with that euphoric sense of perfection, and if, by God's grace, we reach eternal and continual hope, it is only because of the meshing of our daily choice to embrace it and his power to create it. hope, i mean. because there's the heartbeating emotion of david, the mistakes of moses, the thorn in paul's flesh and the cowardice of peter.

and i know i'm not expected to be perfect, because there's a difference between holiness obtained and holiness pursued. and there's a difference in motivation too.

how i live my life by pursuing holiness out of legalism looks a lot different than how i live my life by pursuing holiness out of love. the endings look a bit different too, i think.

p.s. i'm relearning to live in pursuit of love

telecommunications

a few months ago i stumbled upon a blog via relevant magazine. their online "magazine" publishes reader written articles and at the end of each piece is a brief bio, provided by the author. this particular article caught my attention and so i followed the link at the end to read more by joshua longbrake. so should you.

i love metaphors

friendship.

twice as much ain't twice as good

time is gravity, tying me down and leaving me helpless to increase or limit it. i can only see the affects its existence has on me, and the world around me. i have more self-realizations in 20 minute car rides then the span of 5 months.

"i should not talk so much about myself if there were anybody else whom i knew as well. unfortunately, i am confined to this theme by the narrowness of my experience."

there are perceptions i can never understand about anyone else because i am limited by my own understanding. feelings, too. like getting car sick, and being able to sightread.

and finally, i live with a member of crimestoppers. if only we could all be so lucky.