Tuesday, June 26, 2007

oddities

today i had to drive to a town south of p.i...about 20 minutes away. i had just put my hand out the window when i simultaneously heard and felt a very large and squishy bug hit my hand. the only thing that made it even more disgusting was the splattering of blood all over my palm and fingers. i couldn't stop anywhere to wipe it off so i spent the rest of the ride with my hand out the window and washed the dried up bug blood off when i got to work. i kept my hands inside on the way back.

also, i believe i saw shawn cunningham at the irving gas station in town. for those of you who don't know who that is, well...less than sub par news anchor for aroostook county should do it. for those of you who do know who she is, did she get a hair cut?

and i was slightly creeped out at the library earlier when i heard a class on sign language taking a break and talking about a double homicide/suicide that happened nearby a few days ago.

seriously, i love this state...

Saturday, June 9, 2007

i'm running

by kristian stanfill

It seems I'm never free
from a past that holds me down
a past that haunts me now
but You, You break the chains
You shake the bondage off of me
You help me to believe

I'm free to live
to breathe to walk with You

I'm running I'm running
to leave the past behind
no shame to feel
no shame to hold me down
I'm running I'm running
I'm never looking back
With You I'm strong
and I can dream again


It's time to move along
I hear You calling me
to bigger better dreams
You, You give me strength
You give me everything I need
help my eyes to see

I won't look back, I'm moving on
I'm leaving the past, the past is gone
and I won't look back, I'm moving on
I'm leaving the past, the past is gone

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

time

i went home the other week, for the first time in 3 months. and i can say, without doubt, that driving 14 hours, in any direction, from 6 pm - 8 am the next morning isn't healthy or safe. but i'll probably do it again, sometime. it was good to be home...but short. i only had 2 full days to connect with friends in york, and a long weekend with my family. it was so encouraging to see people, but i can't help still feeling like i started so many conversations and had to leave mid-sentence.

i'm trying to learn contentment - it's not easy. i'd much rather be terrified of going overseas, or changing the world, or doing something really "big", then be terrified of waking up each day and doing the same thing over again. from all i've been shown in the past 23 years, it takes more energy and creativity to live in the same town, doing the same job, and interacting with the same people than doing something exciting for a short amount of time. i wonder sometimes if it's the fear of the indefinite. going to london for a semester was, in many ways, terrifying. but when i flew out of dulles airport it was only for 3 months. my fear had an end-date.
now, waking up every day, i don't necessarily have a near ending to look forward to..."pour all of your time and energy out until this day, this week, this month, and then you can be done." well, i suppose i could keep moving from place to place, job to job, and never really settling. but that's not exactly encouraged...

when i moved north, out of york, part of the fear i thought i was leaving behind was that fear of monotony. now i've discovered it's followed me here, only with different people, a different job, and in a different location. and it's time to face it.